"For a While, I Talked Myself into Eating Eggplant..."

While on assignment in the Berkshires of Massachusetts, I had dinner with a former colleague, a former boss of mine in fact. I was looking forward to dinner at the excellent Italian restaurant he had chosen. I pondered the menu and settled on the Veal Sorrentino.  My colleague commented on my selection, suggesting that although the veal sounded great he wasn’t really a fan of the eggplant included in the description. He went on to say that he had, for a while, talked himself into eating eggplant because he thought it was a good thing to do.  He soon decided that eggplant wasn’t for him. The idea of talking himself into eating eggplant and making a diligent effort for a while struck me as quite funny.  As I drove home the 180 + miles from the assignment I began thinking about how often I have “talked myself into” doing something because it seemed like a good idea. This concept also struck me as quite contrary to my current thinking about trusting our instincts and being true to our authentic selves. 

Let’s talk about decision making...

There is no doubt that the most effective decision making is a mix of instinct and objectivity; emotion and reasoning. Science writer and researcher Jonah Lehrer sees our daily life choices as a tug of war, an exhausting battle between our gut feelings and our reasoned thoughts.

"For a long time people have said that the best way to make a decision is to be rational," Lehrer said. "And yet, in recent years, scientists have discovered that the rational brain can only take in a few bits of information at any given moment. So, you start giving it too much information and it starts to short-circuit and sputter."

"Our emotional brain is actually much better at taking in lots and lots of information," he said. "Summarizing lots of data very efficiently, and saying, 'Here's a feeling. Don't worry about all the details. Here's a feeling. We've already taken those details into account.' "

As I get older and I reflect on the best and the worst decisions of my life I am able to identify times when I knew the right answer but chose to go another way.  It’s reassuring to know that I had the right instinct, but disappointing that I chose to not acknowledge that good instinct.

With that said, I do think there are times when we need to give ourselves a push~ to talk ourselves into doing the things we must do. 

Here are 5 times when you should let your brain take the lead

1. When you may be holding back because you lack confidence despite evidence of your capabilities.
2. When you are choosing to lean into a challenging situation~ thoughtfully and deliberately extending beyond your comfort zone. 
3. When you choose to make a conscious sacrifice of your own needs in the interest of another.
4. When fear or insecurity is taking the helm and you are clouded by strong emotion, worry or competition. 
5. When you know that on some level you may be punishing yourself from a sentiment of guilt or regret.

If you find yourself trying hard to convince yourself that something is good idea, it may be good time to check your gut.  Instincts are important in guiding our life choices. Working hard to “talk yourself into” or “out of” anything may compromise the divine guidance your inner voice can offer.

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