Friday, September 26, 2014

The Truth About Potential

“You cannot be anything you want but you can be a lot more of who you already are”. Donald Clifton

Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D  is dubbed the “Father of Strengths Psychology”.  In 1998, he, along with a team of Gallop scientists started a global conversation about what’s right with people.   His theory is simply that people have several times more potential for growth when they invest energy in developing their strengths instead of trying to correct their deficiencies.

Here are a few statistics that support the importance of his theory, taken from Tom Rath’s book Strengthsfinder 2.0.
  • In a 2008 study, after a decade of conversation around strengths, only one third of employees strongly agree with the statement “At work I have the opportunity to do what I do best everyday”
  • This is important because, people who do have the opportunity to focus on their strengths everyday are 6 times as likely to be engaged in their jobs. And 3 times as likely to report having an “excellent quality of life”.
Okay, so let’s assume that you have found yourself in that large percentage of less than fully engaged folks, limping along feeling like you are not using your strengths enough. What can you do to join the more fulfilled and engaged minority?  

Strengths Psychology suggests that you have much more potential for growth and fulfillment if you focus your efforts on becoming who you are meant to be. 

Here's how you might begin: 

  • As usual, change comes from the inside out.  So you must start with self-awareness. Because strengths are talents realized, you should start by thinking about what comes most naturally to you.  When you notice what you are naturally good at, you are identifying talents. If you really aren’t sure, consider an assessment like Strengthsfinder.  It is available online to individual users and it is very affordable.
  • The harsh reality is that our talents can be either wasted or realized.  Talents only become strengths when we develop them with focused and consistent efforts. So your next effort should be in identifying where you have had the opportunity to exercise and develop your natural abilities.
  • Focus your efforts on those talents that you have developed and that have served you well.  Look for opportunities to advance your brand, make your strengths the first thing people notice and the things that people remember about you.  Continue to practice them with diligence.  Sharpen your sword.
  • Then, identify those natural abilities that remain untapped, under-developed and potentially wasted. Look at all the potential that lies in your under-developed talents.  Look for ways to explore those capabilities. Volunteer for projects and assignments that might allow you to flex those muscles. Explore aspects of your job and your functional department's tasks that you might participate in to further those talents.
  • Look at where you are spending your time...you can’t always change your role but you often can re-direct your current focus to better suit your natural capabilities. Enlist the help of your boss.  It’s a leader’s job to advance the capabilities of his/her team members.  This is new conversation so be sure to bring your suggestions and your ideas.
Remember no one can increase your engagement but you!

Friday, September 19, 2014

All for One...


I was working with a team over the course of the last year to enhance their working dynamic.  Just before our last session I met with the team’s functional boss who remarked that things had improved quite a bit.  His parting comment to me was that he’d like his team to work together as well in rough waters as it does in smooth waters.

Isn’t that the ticket?  We all want that!  The only way we can build a team that weathers the stormy waters is to have a team that knows how to relate when the winds are softer.  If a team can’t master it then, they  won’t stand a chance in the tough times. However, when we build healthy and respectful habits into our team relationships we have a foundation to protect us when things get rough.

When you take a good close look at teams that survive and thrive it really comes down to 5 relationship habits:
  • They focus on current circumstances, and they know each other. They adjust their expectations of one another and they worry less about what should be, and more about what is.
  • They are each committed to the team’s goals, they know what needs to be done and they are willing to dive for the ball even if another member ought to be doing more.
  • They each assume everyone else has the same commitment, even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes.
  • They each ask for what they need.  Healthy teams keep talking about what is wrong, but they do it in a way that encourages improvement.
  • They give each other feedback and they cushion it  with kindness. “I know you don’t mean to do this”.... 'I don’t mean to call you out here...".  "I know it has gotten a lot better lately, however…"

the "Team Player" 

I’m skeptical when someone describes themselves as a "team player", especially when they continue to describe all the wonderful qualities that make them a value to a team.  The reason this challenges me is because so much of our team effectiveness requires that we leave our ego at the door. Our participation on a team can’t be a competitive exercise.  It’s more about trust, grace and patience; elevating others, bringing  weak members along and opening our minds to the inspiration of alternate perspectives.  

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "No member of a crew is praised for the rugged individuality of his rowing".

We all belong to teams. It is the construct of our lives; families, work crews or departments, neighborhoods. It is so much more rewarding  to acknowledge that state of  belonging and to enjoy the relationship and energy that can bring us, than to stay in our own agenda and go it alone.
imagecredit: corepics.com



Friday, September 12, 2014

You Have a Friend Request

Friends show up in our lives in many different ways. Certainly our dance with social media has given the idea of "friend" a whole new meaning!  The friend request I extend to you today is different.  It’s a reminder that the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. This request is a request to be a friend to yourself.

I think most us have a core group of people in our lives who truly matter to us.  Within this group we may have partners and family members, siblings and spouses, children, parents and friends ~ others who are significant in our lives.  And although we may not always get it right, when we relate to this group of insiders we always “try”.

  • We try to be present and available.
  • We try to empathize and support; we exercise caution when our insiders are having a tough day.
  • We try to be gentle when we have to give some not so positive feedback.  
We are a “friend”. We know that being a friend sometimes is about saying what the other needs to hear even if it’s not exactly what they want to hear. We always try to come from a loving and constructive place.  We know how to do this for others and we never stop trying or caring about doing this well and yet so many of us find it incredibly difficult to be a friend to ourselves.  We can be so incredibly hard on ourselves. We would never be so unforgiving to someone we cared about. 

Being a “friend” to yourself requires that you examine your self-talk.  Self-talk is the internal dialogue we maintain with ourselves. For most of us it’s a quiet running conversation.  You must take care how you speak to yourself because you are listening. 

Listen to your self-talk, and evaluate your internal dialogue:
  • What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?
  • How do you debrief after a bad day at work?
  • How do you replay that fight you had with a loved one?
  • What is the conversation you have with yourself when you experience disappointment or rejection?
Do you need to be a better friend to yourself? Here are some things you can do…
  • Keep a context.  Focus on the big picture~ your life is made up of many successes and failures~ don’t let any single event challenge your perception of yourself. Remember that life is journey and no particular moment will ever truly reflect all of who you are.
  • Celebrate successes.  Make sure you give yourself credit for all the good things you have done.
  • Forgive your failures, look at opportunities for improvement, look at your life experience as an experiment.
  • Keep your sense of humor.  Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  • Stay hopeful and humble, expect good things to happen and stay optimistic.  

Most importantly, talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.  
image credit: gibbonsdigital.com

Friday, September 5, 2014

Good Things Come to Those Who Sweat!

We all know the benefit of exercise on our physical health. The list of disease risks that can be reduced by regular exercise is endless. There is no doubt that exercise gives us more energy and everyone wants to look fit. But there really is more going on when it comes to exercise and much of it is going on where you would least expect it… in your brain.

I often notice the benefits of things only when I stop.  Then, I feel the loss and realize how much I appreciated the advantages.  It’s like that for me and exercise.  Exercise has been a regular part of my life for years, especially in recent years when I began running and competing in marathons.  When you are training like that, the focus is on the milestones… the schedule.  Just getting it done is such a challenge that it is easy to overlook the positive influence your exercise is having on all aspects of your life.  When I get lazy with my schedule or start missing exercise days that’s when I notice the change in my overall mood, in my motivation and in my productivity.  There is good science that explains my personal experience.

A Fast Company article on exercise did a good job of explaining the brain’s response to exercise. Neuroscience research suggests; that when you start exercising, the brain recognizes this moment as a moment of stress. As your heart pressure increases, the brain thinks you are either fighting an enemy or fleeing from it. To protect yourself and your brain from stress you release a protein called Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF). This BDNF protein has a protective and also reparative element to your memory neurons and acts as a reset switch. That’s why we may feel at ease after exercise and like things are “clearer”.   At the same time, endorphins tend to minimize the discomfort of the exercise, block the feeling of pain and are even associated with feelings of euphoria.

In a Huffington Post article, Sophia Breene did a great job of outlining the specific mental benefits of exercise. Here are some of my favorites taken from her blog:

Exercise:

Prevents Cognitive Decline

It's unpleasant, but it's true -- as we get older, our brains get a little... hazy. As aging and degenerative diseases like Alzheimer's kill off brain cells, the noggin actually shrinks, losing many important brain functions in the process. While exercise and a healthy diet can’t “cure” Alzheimer's, they can help shore up the brain against cognitive decline that begins after age 45 Working out, especially between age 25 and 45, boosts the chemicals in the brain that support and prevent degeneration of the hippocampus, an important part of the brain for memory and learning.

Sharpens Memory

Get ready to win big at Go Fish. Regular physical activity boosts memory and ability to learn new things. Getting sweaty increases production of cells in the hippocampus responsible for memory and learning. For this reason, research has linked children's brain development with the level of physical fitness (take that, recess haters!). But exercise-based brainpower isn't just for kids. Even if it's not as much fun as a game of hide and go seek, working out can boost memory among grown-ups, too. A study showed that running sprints improved vocabulary retention among healthy adults.

Helps Us to Get More Done

Feeling uninspired in the cubicle? The solution might be just a short walk or jog away. Research shows that workers who take time for exercise on a regular basis are more productive and have more energy than their more sedentary peers. While busy schedules can make it tough to squeeze in a gym session in the middle of the day, some experts believe that midday is the ideal time for a workout due to the body's circadian rhythms.

Helps Us Tap Into Creativity

Most people end a tough workout with a hot shower, but maybe we should be breaking out the colored pencils instead. A heart-pumping gym session can boost creativity for up to two hours afterwards. Next time you need a burst of creative thinking, hit the trails for a long walk or run to refresh the body and the brain at the same time.

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.”. So when you think your workday is just too busy to squeeze in some exercise, you may want to think again! The return on that time may far surpass the lost time at your computer checking emails…

image credit: Martindata l Dreamstime.com