Habits

General Charles O. Noble once said, “First we make our habits and then our habits make us”.  I like the idea of habits. A habit is a repeated behavior that after some period of time becomes involuntary. The idea that an improved behavior could become effortless at a future date makes changing less daunting.

James Clear, an author who writes on habits specifically, cited a study conducted by Phillippa Lally,  a health psychology researcher at University College London. In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, Lally and her research team decided to figure out just how long it actually takes to form a habit.

The study examined the habits of 96 people over a 12-week period. Each person chose one new habit for the 12 weeks and reported each day on whether or not they did the behavior and how automatic the behavior felt.

Some people chose simple habits like “drinking a bottle of water with lunch.” Others chose more difficult tasks like “running for 15 minutes before dinner.” At the end of the 12 weeks, the researchers analyzed the data to determine how long it took each person to go from starting a new behavior to automatically doing it. She found that on average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact.” A little over two months! Not so bad, Right? So let’s get started today!  Here are 5 habits that will keep your career on the right track and maybe even bring you some new success!

1.       Build Your Self-awareness Everyday

No matter how brilliant or experienced we are we all have gaps in our self- awareness.  We can only see circumstances and events from our side of our personal lens, so keeping that lens 20/20 takes some effort.  Seeking to broaden and validate your assumptions, your opinions, and your performance by asking others questions is one habit that can keep your instincts sharp and accurate.  

2.       Put Others First 

Jeff Boss, Forbes contributor in a blog titled 13 Habits of Humble People, touts the advantages of humility. He says “Humble people know their self-worth.  As a result, they don’t need to cast themselves before others just to show how much they know. Instead, humble people realize that nobody cares how much they know until those people know how much they are cared for.”  According to Boss, this helps with effective decision making too, “Since humble people put other’s needs before their own, when faced with difficult decisions they respect the moral and ethical boundaries that govern the decision and base their decision making criteria off a sense of shared purpose rather than self-interest”.

3.       Be Clear and Concise in Your Communication

Travis Bradberry, Emotional Intelligence author, suggests the importance of communicating clearly in his blog 15 Habits of Exceptionally Persuasive People, “Persuasive people are able to communicate their ideas quickly and clearly”. He goes further to explain, “When you have a firm grasp on what you are talking about, it’s fun and easy to explain it to those who don’t understand. A good strategy here is to know your subject so well that you could explain it to a child. If you can explain yourself effectively to someone who has no background on the subject, you can certainly make a persuasive case with someone who does.”

4.       Focus on Both Daily Responsibilities and Big-picture Thinking

This one is from Gwen Moran for FastCompany.com in a blog titled 5 Habits of People Who Always Get Promoted. “Exceptional performers are able to maintain dual focus on both the task at hand, as well as how it fits into the bigger picture”.

Moran references Katharine Halpin, CEO and founding principal of The Halpin Companies, Inc., a leadership consultancy in Phoenix, Arizona. When speaking of these “super-employees” Halpin says, "They take ownership for problem solving and dissolving conflict. They naturally have this sort of alignment with the company."  I like how Moran describes this as both a skillset and a mindset. When you start looking at everyday tasks from both perspectives and truly understand what you need to do and why it needs to be done, you become more strategic and begin to anticipate what needs to be done—sometimes before others know what needs to be done, she says. In addition, you’re better able to prioritize so that your activities and energy are focused where they are of most value to the company, Halpin adds.

5.       Develop a Strong Sense of Appreciation 

Harvey Deutschendorf, in a blog for FastCompany.com 5 Ways to Boost Your Emotional  Intelligence, discusses a sense of appreciation as key in making meaningful connections with others.  

“If asked what they are grateful for, good leaders will be able to quickly come up with a long list. They are always appreciative and cognizant of the fact that they have others to thank for getting to where they are.

One way of developing gratitude is to keep a gratitude book and every morning before you do anything else, write down ten things you are grateful for. This helps to keep up a positive attitude and motivation throughout the day.”

Small habit shifts and minor course corrections are the secret to meaningful long-term self-development.  Be deliberate and thoughtful today and soon these new habits will be effortless!  

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About That Small Stuff.....

I recently had a conversation with a coaching client and we were talking about productivity.  We got on to the topic of motivation and she made reference to the adage by Robert Eliot that says “Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff”.  This quote became  popular when Richard Carlson used it as a title for a best-selling self-help book about managing life’s worries.  My client shared with me, that as hard as she tries to overlook the details, she does in fact care a lot about thesmall stuff and that it is her attention to detail that has led her to her greatest achievements.  As I listened to her, I had to agree that I also have a fondness for detail.  I do love the small stuff, and I do in fact care a lot about finer details of my life.

We discussed the frustration that can come from dealing with things that have been thrown together or hastily prepared and the distraction of small annoyances that negatively impact both focus and personal creativity.  I know that for me, when I am particularly busy or stressed I need to stop and straighten up my workspace. I know that this is not the best use of my time, but it never takes long.  After 15-20 minutes of organizing, I feel focused and relaxed and I know that my personal output and my work product is much better.  I also know that when I complete an arduous task, even if I am spent, taking the extra time to add that last special detail feels like putting a cherry atop a beautifully iced cake.  And it is often that final detail that brings me recognition and perhaps more importantly, personal satisfaction.

A friend of mine tends to think a lot about her relationships and conversations. She will often find herself spinning and replaying conversations, wondering about the other’s true intention or impressions. This can certainly be characterized as “sweating the small stuff”, but knowing her the way I do, I know she will never be casual about these interactions.  She is thoughtful, deep and sensitive. Those are wonderful qualities and attending to her personal relationships with such care has brought her meaningful connections with the people in her life.  Embracing these qualities rather than working hard to be more casual seems authentic.

What we are really talking about here is motivational triggers.  Understanding your motivational triggers is key to optimizing your contribution and your personal contentment. 

• Think about how you like to work. Consider your work environment and take the time to make it both comfortable and inspiring.

• Consider the successes that have made you most proud in the past.  What were the dynamics of those projects?  Can you re-create those working conditions?

• Try to give yourself time to do your best work.  If you are like me, and details matter, try to allow time for those final finishing touches.

•  If it is your thinking style that has you laboring over relationship factors, develop a habit of discussing your feelings.  Plan for what you want to say and have the conversation sooner rather than later. Be respectful of the other person’s time and be economical with your words.  Don’t beat a dead horse and let it go when you are done.

• Celebrate your successes and go ahead and focus on your failures… analyze them, study them, and turn them inside out and THEN move on and do better!

The answer here is balance. I think it is so very important that we stay attentive to our needs.  Practically speaking we all have a lot to do, and productivity is certainly a life-skill mastered by those who are most successful.  But spending the extra time attending to the circumstances we require to stay motivated, relaxed, and comfortable is smart and healthy.  It is worthwhile and important.

So go ahead and sweat a little. After all, Harvey S. Firestone once said,                                                                                                                                              “Success is the sum of detail”.

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Superhero

There is a quote that says, “There is a superhero inside all of us we just need the courage to put on the cape”.  I think that courage comes from self-awareness and an accurate sense of where we can be our best selves.

We all spend a lot of time and energy managing our reputations, shaping the impressions of others and taking deliberate steps to advance a personal brand story that reflects not only who we are but also who we would like to be.  In last week’s blog where I discussed personal brand, I commented that “authenticity” is important.  Touching base and periodically taking a look at our personal strengths is a great way to ensure that we are always operating from an “authentic” place.

Unlike our reputation, which is an “outside- in” perspective, our true understanding of our strengths is best explored from our own emotional connection to our work and lives. According to Marcus Buckingham, in his book,  Go Put Your Strengths to Work, looking outside yourself for objective assessment of your strengths is a mistake.  Buckingham claims: “If your strengths are those activities that make you feel strong, then the person most qualified to identify them—indeed the only person qualified to identify them is you.  You know which activities draw you back to them time and again. You know which activities you cannot help volunteering for. You know which activities keep your interest and your concentration with almost no effort.”

I conducted a strengths retreat for a client organization this week and we began with the following exercise. You can try this yourself:

1.       Capture a list of all the activities you complete in one week of work.  Keep a running log for a whole week listing all your activities or simply look back at the past week and try to remember everything you did.  If you are like most of us, your list will include tasks big and small, some you loved, some you loathed and some you had little reaction to at all.

2.       At the end of the week or after you cannot think of anything else to list, review the list of activities. Select the activities you loved, the ones that made you feel strong.  The tasks that: came naturally and even though they may have been challenging they left you feeling more energized than drained.

3.       Now “fine- tune” these favored activities.  Try and elaborate on each one. Identify why they made you feel so good.  Was there a particular situational aspect that appealed; a work partner and audience, or outcome than made these tasks more appealing?

4.       Next, write a sentence describing each these activities.   Begin the sentence with “I felt strong when…..”.  After you have completed this for each of the activities you loved, read them out loud.  You should feel a strong commitment to each of these statements.  Try to fine tune the wording until it feels “just right”.

Now, you are on your way to understanding your true strengths.  Consider how you might focus more on these types of activities in your current role.  I promise you will be more successful than you ever imagined if you can spend the majority of your time playing to your strengths.  

Pick up Marcus Buckingham’s book if you like this exercise.  His step by step guide can help you re-engineer your career to leverage all of your strengths, all of the time.

Exercising your strengths is like working your muscles, in the words of fitness author Chalene Johnson,

“Strength is seen on the outside but built on the inside”

image credit: slideshare.net 

Brand "You"

I recently got involved in a new venture and our team has been discussing the brand story of our new brand.  It strikes me how this conversation is familiar to so many of my coaching conversations about reputation.  After all, aren’t we always representing and shaping our personal brand?  In a blog posted on Forbes.com titled How to Crack the Code of Building your Personal Brand, Julian Mitchell says “Though some have no issue being outspoken about who they are and what they do, a surprisingly large group of highly skilled people struggle with building their personal brand.  As today’s generation proves impressively assertive, it would seem like such challenges should be non-existent with the abundance of platforms designed to get a message out. However, not all people feel naturally confident, or know the best approach to marketing their brand without feeling intimidated.” 

I have always observed the same thing in my coaching practice.  Even the most confident professionals often feel a strong reluctance and a lack of comfort when it comes to self-promotion.  Although there are a lot of tactics out there when it comes to advancing your personal brand, I am, as usual, favoring authenticity. Mitchell agrees, he writes,  “While these tactics certainly have a time and place, the key to solidifying your brand is much simpler ~be yourself.” 

So, what might an authentic approach to personal branding look like?  Here are some things you may consider:

What is the first thing people notice about you?  What are the adjectives most people might use to describe you?  I am betting you can answer these questions pretty easily.  If you can’t, take an informal survey.  It’s likely that the answer to these questions would all be true and accurate.  The point is~Are these the first and most relevant things you would want people to know about you?  Are these the defining charaeristics you would choose if you were building the brand story for product YOU?

For example, I am working with a woman who would like to be respected for her opinion and her knowledge.  She certainly has tons of it! She has incredible instincts and this has brought her outstanding results. Her approach to working with teammates is one of humility and deference.  Anyone she works with would describe her as sweet and easy to work with, perhaps even shy.  Although being sweet and cooperative are both wonderful qualities, they don’t make for a great defining brand statement, when she’d rather be known for her exceptional capability and incredible instincts. 

Think of the one-line brand description you wish to embody and then think of three behaviors that might support that impression.  Observe someone you see as exemplifying the qualities you wish to be known for and seek to emulate their behavior.  Then, be sure you are bringing your authentic version of those behaviors to your interactions. If you are authentic, and you are demonstrating your unique and natural gifts this will become natural for you in no time.

Brag is a four-lettered word!

The other essential aspect of building a personal brand is to make your accomplishments known.  Yes, bragging!  Although brag is in fact a four-lettered word, this doesn’t have to be unseemly.  The best way to share your accomplishments is to share your enthusiasm.  If you describe a new success as something you are "so excited about", you confidence and energy will be contagious.  Sharing how you feel about a recent accomplishment is intimate and personal and will advance not only your reputation but your relationship with the listener as well.

I really like what Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon says:

                                    “Your brand is what people say about you when you're not in the room”

image credit: v3g.com