Have a Heart

While cleaning my office this week, I came across an article I printed off of Inc.com last Fall written by Susan Steinbrecher, coauthor of Heart-centered Leadership: Lead Well. Live Well.  The article describes the many advantages of a people-centric approach to leadership in improving engagement, loyalty and the bottom line.  According to Steinbrecher, a “ 2012 Towers-Watson study of 50 global companies, compared those with low regard for sustainable employee engagement strategies vs. those with high regard for such. These strategies include a people-first leadership approach, along with emphasis on work-life balance, job clarity, supervisor support, and ethical business practices.  The study found that companies with low engagement had an average operating profit under 10 percent, whereas for those with high engagement, the average one-year operating margin was close to three times higher, at just over 27 percent.” Steinbrecher  describes this people focus as a "heart-centered" approach to business and leadership.

Putting people first has this remarkable by-product of improved financial performance as well. People who are treated well: care more, work harder, stay longer and simply do a better job. What more could you ask for? 

The very best part of this article is a list of 21 Heart-centered leadership behaviors that is so simple and brilliant that I needed to share it! So here it is. 

You Might be a Heart-Centered Leader if...

1.       You tell the truth.

2.       You trust your associates to do the right thing.

3.       You are able to relinquish control. As leaders, we don't really have it anyway. Our associates do. If you think that's not true, try getting anything done without them.

4.       You know your impact and are mindful of how your words and actions may be interpreted in formal and informal ways.

5.       You aim to serve the people that you are leading, not the other way around.

6.       You are open-minded and do not judge or assume, but come to understand a situation or behavior.

7.       You take care of your "whole-self"--physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

8.       You have the willingness to look in the mirror and come to terms with your own character flaws.

9.       You are committed to personal and professional growth.

10.   You strive to mentor others and surround yourself with people that have skills, talents and styles different from your own.

11.   You are empathetic and strive to maintain the self-esteem of others.

12.   You have an "open-door" policy.

13.   You believe that, given the right support, people rise to the occasion on their own and actually feel good about being held accountable.

14.   You develop strategies that involve, promote, call upon, and inspire associates to participate fully in creating, renewing, or revitalizing the organization.

15.   You have compassion for yourself and others.

16.   You replace blame with responsibility.

17.   You believe that people have positive intentions, even if associates' behavior appears to illustrate the opposite.

18.   You are committed to making a difference not only in your own life, but in the lives of your associates and society as a whole.

19.   You listen before speaking.

20.   You create an environment where feedback is expected and appreciated.

21.   You are not afraid to admit your mistakes.

So, thanks to a little spring cleaning and the great work of Susan Steinbrecher, we all have something to aspire to this week.

I will leave you with the words of John Maxwell, leadership guru who once said; 

“To measure a leader, put a tape around his heart not his head”~John Maxwell

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What Will Your Butterfly Effect Be?

Last week I was watching the morning news on CBS television and they featured a human interest story about a gentleman named Chris Rosati who is afflicted with ALS.  As his illness has progressed, speaking has become difficult and it was clear that communication had become a supreme challenge.  He slowly and painstakingly described his decision to spend the remainder of his life influencing as many people as he could in a positive way. (I think most of us share this objective, but it was moving to appreciate that this guy is working under a deadline).  He described an exercise where he gave two young girls each $50 at a diner asking only that they do some good with the money.  He referenced the butterfly effect in describing his intent. Here is a link to the interview: http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/chris-rosati-proves-the-butterfly-effect/

I have heard of the butterfly effect, which is the scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever.  The butterfly effect suggests that any single act can have amplified ripple effects that far exceed the scope of the original event. For example, a butterfly flapping its wings can create an environmental impact that can result in a hurricane two continents away.  I am no physicist, but I do ascribe to the idea that our behaviors impact others in extraordinary ways.  I have heard countless descriptions of how one conversation or comment made in passing can serve as the lightning bolt or epiphany, changing someone’s self-perception, frame of reference or direction in life.

I was thinking about this as more than an opportunity. We have a mantle of responsibility to have a positive influence on one another.  Author Andy Andrews, author of the Noticer, describes this impact; 

“While it is true that most people never see or understand the difference they make, or sometimes only imagine their actions having a tiny effect, every single action a person takes has far-reaching consequences.” Andy Andrews

So while we are buried in our daily drama and distractions of getting by, how can we focus on this lofty goal of spreading a positive influence?  Here are some easy ways to maximize your butterfly effect…

Stay present, share your opinion and knowledge often and humbly, the benefit of your perspective could shape someone’s perspective forever.

Seek situations where you are useful and where your experience and strengths can be shared.

Trust your instinct and reach out when it feels like you should.  Don’t talk yourself out of demonstrating kindness, for fear of how it might be received.

Understand that your mood affects others, and can influence the experience of those around you. Practice emotional self-management.

Teach your children well, or your employees or your friends. Positive influence isn’t always about support, sometimes it’s about tough messages delivered with respect and compassion.

Oh yeah, back to Chris Rosati… he received an unexpected email picture sent from an Africa village in Sierra Leone.  The girls to whom he had given the money have a dad who worked in the Peace Corp, in that particular village. The villagers in the photograph were holding signs that said “Thank you for spreading kindness, Chris Rosati”. The girls had spent their money to fund a celebration for this village allowing them to celebrate that after years of struggle they were finally Ebola-free.

What will your butterfly effect be? 

imagecredit: nathab.com  

   

A Wishbone, a Backbone and a Funny bone

Country western singers have a knack for turning a phrase.  This one is from Reba McEntire.  The complete quote is “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

I agree completely.  Not a bad formula for leadership either.  When coaching, I often find myself describing a principle I refer to as the three legged stool principle. The idea is that for a stool to be in “balance” or to be “stable” we need to have equal support on all three legs. I am amazed at how often things occur in increments of threes.  In numerology, the meaning of the number three is reward and success, it also represents the connection between past present and future, and also creativity and abundance. But enough on that…  Let’s look at these three qualities and why they are so important to our effective leadership.

A Wishbone

I like the idea of a wishbone.  When we try to split a wishbone, we pull and  hope for the best.  But the point is that we don’t just close our eyes and make a wish, we PULL. Thought inspired action!   And, perhaps more importantly, we pull carefully.  We think about how to use the leverage, we consider the torque.  We observe what our opponent is doing so as to best respond to their approach. What a perfect metaphor for great leadership! Success comes with observation, strategy, optimism and a little luck.

A Backbone

A backbone is defined as a mainstay or cornerstone. In the urban dictionary it is defined as guts. It takes guts to be a good leader.  You need to believe in yourself and be brave enough to trust your instincts even when you don’t have a lot of belief in yourself. Effective leaders need to challenge the familiar and inspire support for new directions. Without guts you are just a participant; the “was also in attendance ” mention in the historical chronicle of the great success story.

A Funny bone

Everyday life is remarkably funny.  I find humor everywhere.  Even in despair I find irony and opportunities for self-deprecation. Humor is critical to our emotional well-being.  As leaders, it gives us resilience in times of great adversity and connects us to one another in our humility. Great leaders know how to laugh, they know how to take their work very seriously and themselves not quite so seriously.   

So the three-legged stool of leadership, at least for today, is the wishbone the backbone and the funny bone!  How is your balance?

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Surprising Truths About Creativity

I have always imagined creativity to be a personality trait and thought that some people naturally have this quality and others, not so much.  I read an article by psychologists, Daniel Goleman and P. Kaufman that challenged some of my assumptions about creativity, the creative process and the opportunity for us all to bring creativity to our lives.  Below I have summarized some key ideas, but I invite you to explore the complete article published in Psychology Today , tilted The Art of Creativity. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199203/the-art-creativity.

If you are like me, you may think of creativity as a moment of divine inspiration… Like when Thomas Edison’s light bulb flickered for the first time, or the blessed union that occurred when someone dropped a chocolate bar into a jar of peanut butter.  But according to Goleman, the creative process actually has four distinct stages.  

4 Stages of Creative Problem Solving

Preparation. “The first stage is preparation, when you search out any information that might be relevant. It's when you let your imagination roam free. Being receptive, being able to listen openly and well, is a crucial skill here.

That's easier said than done. We are used to our mundane way of thinking about solutions.  Psychologists call this "functional fixedness." We see only the obvious way of looking at a problem—the same comfortable way we always think about it. Another barrier is self-censorship, that inner voice of judgment that confines our creative spirit within the boundaries of what we deem acceptable. It's the voice that whispers to you, 

"They'll think I'm foolish," or "That will never work." But we can learn to recognize this voice or judgment and have the courage to discount its destructive advice.”

Incubation.  “This is the stage when you digest all you have gathered. It's a stage when much of what goes on occurs outside your focused awareness, in the unconscious. As the saying goes, "You sleep on it." The unconscious mind is far more suited to creative insight than the conscious mind. Ideas are free to recombine with other ideas in novel patterns and unpredictable associations. It is also the storehouse of everything you know, including things you can't readily call into awareness.  We are more open to insights from the unconscious mind when we are not thinking of anything in particular. That is why daydreams are so useful in the quest for creativity. Anytime you can just daydream and relax is useful in the creative process: a shower, long drives, a quiet walk.

Epiphany.  This is the popular stage—the one that usually gets all the glory and attention, the moment that people sweat and long for, the feeling "Eureka!" But the thought alone is still not a creative act.

Translation. The final stage is translation, when you take your insight and transform it into action; it becomes useful to you and others.

Below are 7 ideas that will challenge your assumptions about creativity:

1. The key to building creativity is experimentation.  According to Goleman,  “The more you can experience your own originality, the more confidence you get, the greater the probability that you'll be creative in the future. The idea is to develop the habit of paying attention to your own creativity. Eventually, you will come to place greater trust in it and instinctively turn to it when you are confronted with problems.”

2. “The ability to see things in a fresh way is vital to the creative process, and that ability rests on the willingness to question any and all assumptions.”

3. “Research suggests that creative people make more mistakes than their less imaginative peers. They are less proficient—it's just that they make more attempts than most others. They spin out more ideas, come up with more possibilities, generate more schemes. They win some; they lose some.”

4. “Researchers report that when teams of people are working together on a problem, those groups that laugh most readily and most often are more creative and productive than their more dour and decorous counterparts. Joking around makes good sense: Playfulness is itself a creative state.”

5. Our experience of creativity in childhood shapes much of what we do in adulthood, from work to family life. Creativity is a natural state in childhood because of our openness  to entertain all thoughts without judgment when everything is new.

In business…

6. Creativity isn’t an individual sport. “A close-knit team, drawing on the particular strengths and skills of each member of the group, may be smarter and more effective than any individual member of that group. Yale psychologist Robert Sternberg calls it "group IQ"—the sum total of all the talents of each person in the group. When a team is harmonious, the group IQ is highest. That places a premium on a leader who can create a smoothly working team: a leader who knows the virtues of sharing, trust, and encouragement.”

7.“Apart from the structure of a company, the attitudes that pervade its operations can enhance or thwart creativity. One of the keys is building feelings of trust and respect to the point that people feel secure enough to express new ideas without fear of censure. This is because in the marketplace, imaginative thoughts have financial value. But an unimaginative, unreceptive attitude destroys opportunity.”

"Our lives can be filled with creative moments, whatever we do, as long as we're flexible and open to new possibilities—willing to push beyond routine"~ Daniel Goleman

imagecredit: verbalplusvisual.com

Harnessing Passion

I was finishing a coaching engagement with a very accomplished woman this week and we were reflecting on all of her challenges and successes. We were talking about emotional control, particularly in management conversations.  

As we were talking, it occurred to me how often I find myself having this same conversation.  I hear from people who have a hard time not losing their cool and those who feel demoralized when they are on the receiving end.  Passion is powerful driver of engagement and results but when we are so emotionally involved in our work we run the risk of emotional volatility. When it comes to management competence, Emotional Control is a critical success factor.  Unfortunately, it’s also a tough one to master.  I am not the only one who thinks so.

In a recent article by Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, cited a survey conducted by Positive Psychologist Martin Seligman. He writes “ Self-control is so fleeting for most that when Martin Seligman and his colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania surveyed 2 million people and asked them to rank their strengths in 24 different skills, self-control ended up at the very bottom.”

Dr. Casey Mulqueen, a psychologist and the Director of Research and Product Development at leadership training company Tracom Group, says: “executives can leverage psychology to be better leaders and get more out of their employees.” The concept is based on Emotional Intelligence (EQ), the ability to recognize, understand, and control your own and others' emotions.

Here’s a simplified explanation of what happens when you lose emotional control: “The human brain automatically reacts to physical or psychological threats by releasing hormones. It's a fight-or-flight response that's a remnant of our evolution from primates”, Mulqueen says, “When the hormones are released, it's hard to control your actions". But Mulqueen says that you can "effectively fight your own evolution" and "rewire your brain" to act appropriately by "recognizing your automatic responses, labeling them, and figuring what you have control over in the situation."

Engage your prefrontal cortex.

Mulqueen says that the amygdala, the part of your brain that releases stress hormones, activates whenever our grey matter registers a physical or psychological threat. This can happen if a colleague puts down your idea during a company meeting, if someone yells at you, or if you're doing a presentation and are afraid of public speaking. To battle this automatic response you need to engage your prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for logical reasoning and problem solving, while you're in the situation and before you respond.

Here are some suggestions I offer of ways to do just that:                                                      

Take a deep breath.  Deep breathing can slow your pulse and focusing on the process of breathing will distract you from the mental hijacking that the stress hormones are causing.

Write something down.  The process of writing is a reasoning process.  Whether you are taking notes or capturing the conversation on a flip chart, your thinking will shift to a more rational process once you start writing.

Ask a question.  The mental process of formulating a question will help you to focus on what the other person is trying to say even if the way they are saying it is less than constructive.

If you can’t rein it in, ask for a break.  Take a walk or schedule the conversation for a time when "cooler heads can prevail” and it’s likely to go better.  You might both benefit.

If you are in an email conversation, Begin your email by acknowledging what the other person has said, paraphrase their concerns. This doesn’t mean you agree, it simply means you are listening. Reread your responses three times and neutralize argumentative phrases or words before you send, or better yet have someone else take a look.

It’s really about harnessing your emotions and passions so that they enrich your life and serve your purpose.  Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence guru once said:   

"When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really distressing, incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes life rich. You need your passions"~ Daniel Goleman

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At the Expense of Good...

I was recently watching an episode of Shark Tank. Shark Tank is a television show where billionaire entrepreneurs (“sharks”) allow inventors and small business owners pitch their products.  The successful entrepreneurs grill the show’s contestants and if they are interested enough they offer financial backing in return for a stake in their ventures. On a recent episode, I heard Mark Cuban, (self-made billionaire and owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks) say something that struck me as particularly profound. A married couple was presenting their product to the sharks. It was clear that after years of pursuit, their very innovative product had never gotten off the ground.  As the sharks grilled the entrepreneurs, as they usually do, the couple lamented all the various limitations associated with every possible distribution option they had explored. Finally, losing his patience, Mark Cuban said “It seems to me you are chasing perfection at the expense of good.”  I liked the way he put that. It spoke to my current personal agenda. 

As I get older, I have become keenly focused on spending my time wisely and deliberately on things that matter most.  This “return on investment” mindset keeps me thinking about priorities, urgency and a commitment to focusing my effort on my personal strengths and my longer-term goals.

Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence guru describes this focus in a recent Harvard Business Review Article titled the Focused Leader.  He refers to this focused mode of thinking as “cognitive control”. “Cognitive control” is the scientific term for putting one’s attention where one wants it and keeping it there in the face of the temptation to wander. This focus is one aspect of the brain’s executive function, which is located in the prefrontal cortex. A colloquial term for it is “willpower.”

When it comes to business leaders, according to Goleman, cognitive control enables executives to pursue a goal despite distractions and setbacks. The same neural circuitry that allows such a single-minded pursuit of goals also manages unruly emotions. Good cognitive control can be seen in people who stay calm in a crisis, tame their own agitation, and recover from a debacle or defeat.

Here are some questions you can use to keep your focus where it needs to be…

What is the payoff for this time I am spending?

When details slow me down... How important is this particular detail to my end result?  If I move forward and settle for this current level of “perfection” what are the risks or consequences?

When my curiosity pulls me down a rabbit hole…Is there something else I should be doing right now?

When I choose easy feel good tasks for motivation... Should I be doing this right now? Is there another time that might be better for this? Can I limit the amount of time I am devoting to this task?.

Is there someone else who could or should be doing this, with me or for me? Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should be doing it.

Who benefits from this time I am spending?  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be generous. I am usually blessed to have enough flexibility in my schedule that I can afford to be generous with my time. I like to decide when and how much I can give and it’s a really great reward when time spent wisely frees me up to support the needs of others.

This is really about efficiency, productivity, and achievement.  Meaningful achievement! After all, we are all granted the same 24 hours in a day.  No matter how industrious, creative or sleep-deprived we choose to be, we still only get 24! How we fill those hours is completely up to us.

I used to like to say that my favorite word was “Perfect”.  Recently, I am favoring the word "Progress"!

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10 Commandments of Giving Feedback

As you move through this month of February, and if you are a manager, you will likely be asked to provide some feedback to your direct reports.  Even if your organization doesn’t require an annual performance appraisal it’s a great idea to touch base.  Setting direction, providing feedback and sharing your expectations is important if you want your employees to stay on course. So here are the ten commandments of giving feedback.  Psst.... These work in your personal life too!

1.  Honor Contributions.

Before you even begin the feedback, value the individual. Discuss their role on the team.  Be sincere and thorough, discuss how the team member contributes.  Take your time, this will set the tone for the rest of the conversation.

2.  Give Positive Recognition and Make It Count.

Think about the strengths this person brings to the table. Be specific by giving examples that are illustrative of their strengths and encourage repeat shining performances.  Allow the positive feedback to stand alone, don't always use it as a "lead in" to more difficult topics.

3.  Be Specific.

Give examples.  Make sure your examples are recent and specific. Find a time to discuss the examples in private and allow enough time to have a good quality conversation.

4.  Describe Behavior.

Stay factual and neutral in your description.  Don’t describe why you think they are doing this or not doing that. Leave the intention to them, stay on your side of the conversation equation. Just stay with describing the observable behavior. Stay away from adjectives. Any words evoke a response and our reaction to adjectives can be very individual.  For example, words like "careless" or "not-engaged", may seem fairly innocuous to you but could be seem overly critical to another. It is safer to describe only what you can observe in specific terms.

5.  Careful with “Never”/”Always”.

Avoid words that are too extreme like “never” and “always”.  Whenever I hear these I want to challenge, Really? Always? What about the last time? Or the time before? Don’t let the conversation be sidetracked by this moot point. If the problem behavior happened it is a problem. If it is repeated share several recent examples.

6.  Ask and Listen.

Ask for their experience of the behavior to get an accurate picture of their motivations. "What happened there?" This is important to reduce defensiveness, but also to gain an accurate picture of how they might improve. Is it: Training? Poor decision-making? Time management? Organization?  Stay with their side of the story until you have a clear picture. Your communication here should be patient and open-minded. Understanding their thought process doesn’t mean you are endorsing it, just seeking clarity.

7.  Discuss "Natural" Consequences.

Discuss why the suggested change matters, what are the consequences if they don’t improve. I don’t mean disciplinary consequences although you might end up there. Why do you care?  For example, if someone misses meetings the consequence might be that they will not have access to information shared in that meeting, decisions taken there will not include their perspective may not serve their needs or those whose voice they are representing. They may even suffer a reputation hit if others see them as unreliable or disrespectful.  All of these consequences occur whenever the meeting is missed.  These are “natural” consequences, not disciplinary consequences. This makes it less personal.  You are not punishing, only holding up the mirror for them.

8.  Keep Emotional Control.

Thou shalt not lose emotional control. This seems like an obvious one but if you are angry you’d better wait a bit.  We want the emotion to match the urgency and importance of the issue, so this isn't about “sugar- coating”.  But you always want to be in control of your emotional expression in order to avoid personal attacks.

9.  Participate.

Offer support and ask for suggestions on how you might support their improvement.  You will want to be clear about how you can and cannot help.  This clarity will support your efforts to follow-up.  Now is the time to discuss the responsibility of change and what they can expect from you.  If the situation continues or gets worse you don’t want to hear later about all the things you could have or should have done to help.

10.  Be Optimistic.

Create a vision of new and improved outcomes, express your optimism about getting there and schedule some specific time to follow-up. Change is not easy and will require a level of deliberate effort.  You will want your communication to be selling and encouraging here.

Sounds easy, but of course it isn’t.   Frequency on this will increase trust so try not to let issues build-up.  February the perfect time to get things moving in the right direction for 2015!