Friday, November 6, 2015

Are YOU Showing Up?


Woody Allen once said that "70 percent of sucess in life is showing up". About a week ago I called Groupon,  an online discount program, to seek a refund and I had a wonderful experience.  The Customer Service Rep was quick, polite and efficient and the whole thing took only about 2 minutes. Shortly after the call, I received an email survey which seems to be more and more common. Because my experience was so good I decided to take a moment and complete the questionnaire.  About half way through the survey I came across a question asking if the Customer Service rep had been “authentic”.  I paused for a moment and thought about it. Yes, in fact she had been authentic.  I felt that we were having a real conversation.  Not the robotic, “reading from some script” experience I have often had when calling a vendor.  I trusted immediately that she was willing to do all that she could and when I hung up the phone I had complete confidence that I would in fact, see the refund.

I often speak about authenticity for individuals in leadership roles. I describe the quality as essential for effective leadership of others.  However, authenticity isn't just for managers.  It is the essence of a satisfying life.  It is an element of leadership but it is available to everyone.  Living an authentic life where we are comfortable, genuine and true to our unique nature helps us to feel better about our lives and also helps others to feel better about us.  In fact, it is essential to building meaningful and trusting relationships in our personal and professional lives, regardless of our roles.

INSEAD Adjunct Professor of Business Communication,  Steve Knight, is a highly regarded business communications specialist.  In a recent online blog he discusses authenticity.

“Whether you are in conversation with Presidents or shopkeepers, Oscar winning actors or train conductors, millionaires or people who are struggling to make a living, the Chairman, or those that keep the factory floor running, you should show up the same way in all situations. Everyone is worth it.

A true leader recognizes everyone. A true leader expresses themselves with genuine authenticity all of the time. Grace is not something one can just switch on or off when one feels like it. As a leader, grace has to be at the forefront of everything you do 100% of the time. He outlines, 

5 everyday communication habits that can help you to retrain your brain and become consciously aware and respectful of all people you come into contact with.

  • Notice people, i.e. in the street, on the train, in a supermarket, in your office complex
  • Make eye contact
  • Give a kind and thoughtful smile
  • Say hello where appropriate
  • In shops and gas stations ask staff at the checkout how they are

“Take a genuine interest in your colleagues, ask questions about them and deeply listen to their answers without interrupting to add in your take on what they are saying or “Oh that happened to me once, blah, blah, blah.” When we do that, we hijack their space and we have not honored them. More often we do this out of nerves or wanting to fit in, or we are simply unaware that we are doing it, but the other person will feel, depending on their character, either disrespected, irritated, angry, insignificant or not valued. You may already be aware of how you feel when people do that to you.

With people who have a higher status than you at work or in life, start to notice if you have a “I am less- than them” feeling. This is when you might "don your less-than mask" without realizing it. The person you are talking to will no doubt sense it. They will help you if they are a genuine leader, if they are not they could take advantage of you, or you could end up getting bypassed for that promotion you so want. Start to feel comfortable in your own skin. Be your genuine authentic self." 

He concludes his blog by inviting us to “Set your path and plot your course to becoming genuinely authentic all the time, to all people. Enjoy and celebrate what comes back your way when you become a shining beacon of genuine and authentic kindness, grace, thoughtfulness and true leadership.”

So for the coming week, pay attention to how you are showing up, and make sure it is really YOU!

image credit: Dreamstime.com

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